A non-working farm dog

If you’re interested in leading a good life like mine, there are a few rules to be followed.

1. Don’t work. If anyone asks you to do anything, play dumb (but look cute).

2. Keep an eye on your humans at all times. They are generally up to no good. They’ll sneak up on you with eye drops or ear drops, or whisk you into the bathroom when your guard is down.

3. Don’t tamely eat out of your bowl. Remember, farm dogs live off the land. Eat anything you can find. Six day old chutney and sambar out of a plastic bag dumped under a bush by a tractor driver are the best. If you can’t find those, cadge tea and buns from any workers you meet. Fresh cow dung is also delicious, but don’t get too close to cows, they can be unfriendly.

4. Food provided by your humans is good too, especially if there’s cauliflower. But insist that it’s served on the rocks. If jealous crows are watching, so much the better. You can exercise between bites by chasing them.

5. Water is precious! Drink from every puddle you come across. Even water in flower pots tastes good.

6. Make sure your humans are looking after the farm properly. Cultivate and perfect the hypnotic stare that gets you taken for walks. And once you’re out, sniff the flowers, inspect every tree, plant and stone, and dig every hole you can.

7. Run away at every opportunity. Adventure awaits!

8. Be nice to old people. They’re good company and won’t pounce on you suddenly.

9. Laugh a lot.

10. Stop at every high point. Breathe. Enjoy the view.

38 responses to “A non-working farm dog

      • We found out that outdoor cats rarely live long. So we are really scared to get another one and lose him or her. It really breaks our hearts. The other alternative is to keep them indoors, which seems ridiculous on a farm. Topshe used to like Punkin Puss and they used to play together beautifully. But I don’t know if she can get used to a new animal – she’s 13 years old.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I also noticed that cats living outside vanish suddenly. It is a shame. Keeping cats indoors is nearly impossible. They want to live outside, or at least have the possibilty to come and go as they wish. I was never lucky with keeping cats inside. They always wanted out, out, out ….

        Liked by 2 people

      • Punk used to be in and out of the house all day. He liked to go out in the evenings and come back to snuggle in our bed. When he came to us at about 2 months old, he had already been fending for himself for some weeks, so he hated to be confined. He was such a happy cat, climbing trees, chasing Topshe, following us on walks. I know many people who keep their cats indoors their whole lives – and they live long lives. But they don’t have the joie de vivre of our Punkin.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you. There are so many homeless cats around, in France as well as in Russia. Instead of having my own cat I have decided to help those outside that need help. That is for me the best way of showing my love for cats.

        Liked by 2 people

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