Nine ways to be a terrible cook

I’m the world expert on this, so mark my words well.

1. Decide to use up all the vegetables that might spoil otherwise

2. Decide to make a huge quantity so no one will starve for two days

3. Add extra water without measuring so it will be a soupy consistency and you can eat it out of a bowl

4. Decide it’s too bland and toss in lots of extra spice/ salt/ lemon/ sugar/ oil

5. Perk up a boring dish with exotic ingredients and unknown herbs

6. Set off to raid the garden, leaving the onions frying on a low flame

7. Make a one pot meal in the solar cooker on a cloudy day

8. Think, I’ll save time by making a dog-friendly people food

9. Think, I’ll please everyone by making a people-friendly diabetic-non-hypertensive-vegan-organic dog food.

Note: The fortunate cat is excluded from the community dish because it spurns everything you cook anyway. I’m eating out, it says, and stalks off with its tail in the air.

Illustration: clipart-library.com

Advertisement

6 responses to “Nine ways to be a terrible cook

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s