Nine ways to be a terrible cook

I’m the world expert on this, so mark my words well.

1. Decide to use up all the vegetables that might spoil otherwise

2. Decide to make a huge quantity so no one will starve for two days

3. Add extra water without measuring so it will be a soupy consistency and you can eat it out of a bowl

4. Decide it’s too bland and toss in lots of extra spice/ salt/ lemon/ sugar/ oil

5. Perk up a boring dish with exotic ingredients and unknown herbs

6. Set off to raid the garden, leaving the onions frying on a low flame

7. Make a one pot meal in the solar cooker on a cloudy day

8. Think, I’ll save time by making a dog-friendly people food

9. Think, I’ll please everyone by making a people-friendly diabetic-non-hypertensive-vegan-organic dog food.

Note: The fortunate cat is excluded from the community dish because it spurns everything you cook anyway. I’m eating out, it says, and stalks off with its tail in the air.



6 responses to “Nine ways to be a terrible cook

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